A Couple Letter - Mark and Peter
Our Family Story
By the time we were ready to have children of our own we were in our early thirties, we'd been together for 11 years and we'd both completed specialist medical training. Even though we knew of no other male couples who'd raised children together from birth, our research confirmed our gut instinct - we could be as good parents as any. We'd spoken to our family and friends and criss-crossed the internet for some years considering our parenting options.
One of the important reasons why we chose to have our children via surrogacy was that we wanted to give our prospective children the family security and stability which we both enjoyed as children. We wanted our children to grow up knowing that we (and only we) would be fully accountable to, and responsible for, them. This meant not only preparing for the nurturing aspects of parenting but in our instance as a committed gay couple also to cover our legal bases. Our very helpful attorney here in our country advised us that pursuing surrogacy in California would be our absolute best avenue.
Many options presented themselves again - should we pursue a private arrangement, or if we were to work via an agency, which one? After reading the book, "Getting Simon", (well worth the read for any gay couple thinking of having kids) we knew we needed to work via an agency. CSP was not the only agency with whom we made initial contact. We considered our options. We made our decision to work with CSP on our instinct that they'd give us our best chance for a successful pregnancy and healthy children regardless of our sexuality as prospective parents. And we were right! Having our twin sons with the help of CSP was by far the most logistically complex thing that we've ever done.
The mind boggles considering that it involved the staff at CSP, our surrogate mum and her family, our egg donor (from outside of California), our counselor, our fertility specialist and his team, our surrogate mum's OBGYN, our attorney from home as well as our California attorneys & the Pediatrician & nurses at the hospital where in the end our surrogate mum would give birth! Oh and at the end of it all our boys came home with us to our country! In spite of all of this our pregnancy was an utter success!
Our boys are now almost one-and-a-half years old, our lives have been turned upside down, and there is no better feeling to us than that of being proud parents of the two most gorgeous children that ever lived (well OK we are a bit biased).
The most extraordinary thing about being gay parents...is just how ordinary our family is!
From the first point of contact with CSP in early 2000, to our face-to-face meeting in California in August, to our meeting our surrogate mum just before Christmas that year, the embryo transfer and positive pregnancy test in May 2001 and the birth of our children in early 2002 everything literally went like clockwork! We appreciated and came to depend on the professionalism and personal integrity of CSP's staff.
In retrospect, we cannot fault the process CSP put in place to give us our greatest chance for healthy children and for the best possible experience, not only for us a couple, but also for our surrogate mum with whom we continue to be in close contact.
Considering that surrogacy is a by-and-large unregulated process, our admiration for CSP's staff for carefully managing every sensitive aspect of our complex journey is even that much greater. Would we have been able to have children some other way
but from listening to, and hearing of, other gay couples experiences, our journey was smoother than that of any other couple that didn't work CSP. Would we have done it differently had we had out time over again...NO!
For us, there is no greater joy than parenthood. For helping us realize our dream of having our own little family
we thank you CSP.Mark and Peter