A Husband's Heartfelt Tribute to His Wife
They often are behind the scenes, but their support for their wives is crucial for a successful surrogacy journey. They are the husbands of CSP surrogate mothers. One husband, David Taylor, went a step further. He wrote this beautiful tribute to his wife, Katrina. We think you will love it.
"Hello, my name is David and I just want to share my feelings on why I feel my wife Katrina should be considered mother of the year!
She is the most selfless, patient, caring and brave person I know. She is a mother of three under the age of 11, stepmother to a teenager and in the process of becoming a three-time surrogate mother. We should give her a champion's belt!
To give you a little insight, when we first talked about her becoming a surrogate mother, I will admit I had my concerns. Like the fact that I would have to care for her and do all the things for her as if the baby was mine and it wouldn't be. I would be the one dealing with the hormonal aspect of things; the cravings, the mood swings, additional care for our children when she isn't well and her overall well being, etc. However, this was a much bigger sacrifice on her part and I really couldn't complain or fathom at first.
Also, getting pregnant and delivering was relatively easy for her, and as you know, it's not like that for everyone. With that being said, our family is complete but we wanted to help people, who for whatever reason couldn't have children, experience the joys of parenthood and having a family of their own. The fact that Katrina enjoyed being pregnant only made our decision of her becoming a surrogate easier.
We went through a company called the Center for Surrogate Parenting (CSP). The people there are exceptional! We were taken care of every step of the way.
They explained to us the process of gestational surrogacy, in which the child would be the result of another woman's egg and sperm given by her husband or a male donor--eliminating any biological connection to Katrina and myself.
The first part of our journey began with the screening process. This is where we had to meet with a psychologist and pass a psychological interview, where we were questioned to make sure there was no tension or unease between us regarding this process as well as getting to know the type of people we were in order to best match us up with a prospective couple.
The next part of the process was finding the right couple / family. We were given a few couples' profiles to read and view the photos of each of these couples and their families that they wanted to share. Although it is extremely difficult, we would have to choose a couple, and once that is done, there is a meeting that is set up between us and if all goes well, the process really gets going.
Breaking the news to our kids was not as bad as I thought it would be, as they were genuinely excited about what their mother was doing for someone else. I was so proud of them!
At this point, we were now well on our way to helping another couple start their family and were very excited! So excited in-fact that we couldn't wait to tell everyone about what we were doing. Most people are very supportive and say such nice things to us; however, there are those people who just don't understand, and sometimes say some hurtful things.
There were many times that guys would say to me "how could you let your wife carry another man's baby?" In my opinion, the question was so ridiculous, that the only response I would give them would be "first of all, I do not control my wife; she is her own person and I will support her no matter what".
Now comes the fun part for Katrina (not really). She now has to start giving herself hormone shots twice a day: one in the abdomen and one in the buttocks (ouch!). These shots increase the chances of the pregnancy "taking" once the embryos are implanted.
Approximately two and a half to three months later, embryos are transferred to Katrina's uterus, and at this point with a successful transfer, she is pregnant.
Now, if everything goes as planned, she will be delivering the baby in about nine months. However, there are risks involved and things don't always go according to plan. There could be twins if multiple embryos are transferred and they both "take," which could place the surrogate mother in danger. In fact, during Katrina's last pregnancy, she developed pre eclampsia, a potentially life-threatening condition marked by a spike in blood pressure and, if left untreated, could lead to seizure, stroke, or organ failure. Thankfully, she came through it with no permanent effects from the pre eclampsia.
However, after delivering a beautiful baby boy, she went home little over a day later and we thought all was well. We were wrong… Katrina developed migraine headaches and literally had to crawl on her hands and knees if she wanted to go anywhere other than the bed.
As you could imagine, this was alarming to us and after trying to tough it out to see if her head would start feeling better, it didn't. I took her to the emergency room and they determined that she was leaking spinal fluid from where her epidural was; and in order to fix it, they essentially had to draw some of her own blood and give her another epidural to inject the blood near the leak in her spine. This procedure is called a "blood patch", and as odd as it sounds, it worked; she was feeling better in about half an hour and back to normal in a little over a day.
Still to this day, we keep in touch with the parents we assist, and they send us e-mails and pictures of the children as they are growing up, which brings us great joy. It also gives us, as parents, a teaching moment for our children.
The only thing that pains me to the core is that after all of her pregnancies, it has taken a toll on her body and she now hates the way she looks. After each child, as many women know, there is extra work put in to get your "pre baby" look back. Not having the help of an infant to breastfeed, Katrina has worked doubly hard to drop every ounce gained for each child. Each pregnancy is totally different as we are as humans, so with one she could gain 30 pounds, with another 60. I tell her all the time that she is beautiful and the stretch marks are actually beauty marks to remind her of the beautiful children she has brought into this world. However, it really doesn't help, as she thinks that I'm just saying it because I am her husband and I am just trying to make her feel better. The truth of the matter is that I really do think that she is beautiful and wouldn't change anything about the way she looks!
With that being said though, I can understand how she would feel this way, and if I could afford it, I wouldn't hesitate paying a doctor whatever it took in order to make her feel better about the way her body looks to her.
Even with the physical and emotional toll this takes on her, Katrina has decided to do one more surrogacy and I couldn't be more proud of her! This is why I write to you a story of a strong courageous woman doing selfless acts of love for complete strangers! If only the world had MORE KATRINAS!!!"