Why Wait To Be Matched?
Actual dialog from a surromomsonline.com blog:
How CSP felt after reading this blog:
|Surrogate 1:||Can anyone share their experience with CSP with me. It seems like we're getting off to a crawling start, and if it's going to be this way through my entire journey I want to find a new agency. Have I mentioned patience isn't my greatest virtue? I could understand if it was taking a while for us to match...that's not something I want to rush...but I would at least like to begin looking at potential matches! We were accepted at the beginning of March, and we're STILL messing with insurance issues. If you are with CSP...can you give me a timeline of how everything played out for you? And if you're not with CSP could you refer me to any other great agencies? We're in Texas if that brings anything to the table. I know it just takes time, but it shouldn't take 2 months to verify insurance should it?|
|Surrogate 2:|| CSP is awesome. They do take a bit of time but it’s a good thing. Maybe your insurance company is taking a long time to get back to CSP about your status? I signed up in September, accepted in October, attended first support group meeting in November, received profiles upon returning from the group meeting, and was matched in December to the greatest couple I could ever hope for. You have to attend a support group meeting before you receive any profiles. They just want to make sure you're aware of what you're signing up for, and to make sure you want to go ahead with it, before you get into the matching process. CSP does have a slower timeline than some, but honestly what’s the hurry? They have to make sure YOU are right for this journey and that can’t be found out in a month. You said you just started with them in March...well that’s only a month ago.|
|Surrogate 3:|| I worked with xyz agency for my first surrogacy and would use them again....They matched me within 2 weeks of me calling...it was awesome!!! |
|Surrogate 1:|| I understand...there's no RUSH...I was just hoping to at least be going to a group meeting or SOMETHING by now! One of the main reasons I chose them is b/c of their reputation. I did a lot of searching, and they appear to be the best...that doesn't go to say that there are not other great agencies out there. The 2 ladies I've been in contact with seem super nice. I was just curious how long this process takes using them. Do they have TOO many surros? If so, I don't just want to sit on the back burner if there's a couple out there waiting ya know? |
|Surrogate 4:|| I'm working with CSP and it is taking a long time, but that is b/c my insurance has a surrogacy exclusion. My exclusion was worded the same as yours and I was told repeatedly by my insurance company that that meant all aspects of surrogacy, no matter if you were the surro or the IP's. They have to get it in writing from the insurance (not just someone telling you on the phone) that the exclusion does not include the surrogate. Does that make sense? So that may be what is taking so long. |
|Surrogate 5:|| I am with abc agency and love them. They moved at lightening speed for me! |
|Surrogate 6:|| I am working with CSP too. I signed up in Jan, was accepted in Feb, got my first profile on Friday and now I am waiting to hear back from the IP's to see if they accept me! At first, I thought things were going a bit slow, but now that I look back on it things have gone pretty fast. I hope that they can get things worked out with your insurance |
Yes, it is true that CSP takes time to screen our surrogate mothers. We understand that surrogate mothers are anxious to get started. But the reality is there are reasons for us to slow the application process: When a woman generously decides she wants to become a surrogate mother she often does research online. All the loving, warm, feel-good stories excite her and she is anxious to have a success story of her own.We need to allow a surrogate mother time to really think about her decision. We want our surrogate mothers to be committed to the process come what may. How many times have you had a great idea but after thinking about it decided against it? How many times in your life were you grateful that you did not run with an idea you had but that you were forced to slow down and reconsider the options carefully. How often did you take your time to research and decide something and were later grateful that you took that time and that in taking the time needed you were now confident that your decision is the right one?We are looking for surrogate mothers who are willing and able to stay with their commitment. It would be dreadful for a couple to bond with their surrogate mother only to have her decide that after a few months that she was done and is moving on to a new activity she heard of.Surrogacy is a process, not instant gratification. Anyone who has undergone infertility understands that nothing occurs in this field at lightening speed. You are waiting for your cycle to start, waiting to start medication, waiting for the egg retrieval, waiting to find out how many eggs fertilize, waiting to know if your blood test comes back positive, and the waiting simply continues. The screening process is an invaluable part of the surrogacy journey and it allows CSP to monitor a surrogate mothers dedication to surrogacy.We prefer our surrogate mothers have time to reorganize their lives. Surrogacy is demanding on a surrogate mother’s time. If everything were to occur quickly she would not have a chance to restructure her life. She needs time to consider if she really can make time in her life for surrogacy. She needs time to organize childcare or submit for time away from work for the many medical appointments.We prefer to be respectful of a surrogate mother’s husband. To introduce them to the idea of surrogacy and then allow them to have time to consider their commitment to our program and to our couples.At CSP we ensure that each step is completely and accurately undertaken. No short cuts should occur when we are dealing with the precious life of your baby. How could any agency match a surrogate mother in two weeks from receiving her application? Goodness it takes almost that time to get social disease testing results back! Yes, CSP takes insurance issues seriously. We are deliberately careful with insurance. If a surrogate mother ends up with no coverage for her pregnancy then it is the couple that will incur those costs. All medical bills are in the surrogate mother’s name and therefore she may be held liable for these bills. Of course she can counter-claim against her couple, but the medical providers will go after the surrogate mother for their money. Insurance is a serious issue and we make sure we get her most recent, updated insurance booklet. In our experience almost 90% of surrogate mothers who apply to our program do not have immediate access to their most recent insurance booklets. Most surrogate mothers have booklets that are 2 or more years out of date or they have a summary of benefits instead of the full explanation. In our experience it takes at lest 1-2 months for the Human Resource department to request or mail out the updated, most recent insurance booklet. If we need a letter written to an insurance company to verify a phrase or coverage, it takes at least 30 days before a reply is received. All this insurance work is done BEFORE our couples are matched with a surrogate mother.We believe that the process we have set into place is respectful of our surrogate mothers and their husbands. It allows them time to decide to consider with this journey or to drop out of our program. It also ensures that after enduring a wait they are anxious to meet their couple and have now set time aside for surrogacy. You become important to them because they have waited for you and have worked hard to meet you.Of course CSP can match a surrogate mother in 2 weeks from receiving her application. Of course it makes business sense for CSP to match surrogate mothers as quickly as possible. However, we have 29 years of experience to guide us. From experience we know that a quick match is not always the right choice.
Yes, CSP has matched couples with surrogate mothers within a week of a couple retaining our services. CSP screens surrogate mothers continually and this process is independent of how many couples retain CSP services. Therefore it is possible for CSP to match a couple with a surrogate mother soon after our services are retained, because CSP would have begun screening that surrogate mother months earlier.
CSP has and does match returning surrogate mothers quicker than first time surrogate mothers. How quickly we can match our returning surrogate mothers depends on whether she has access to her most updated insurance book. Since our returning surrogate mothers know we take insurance issues seriously, they often ensure they have the latest booklet on hand.
However, we have never matched a first time surrogate mother unless we have known her for at least 2-3 months from the date of her application. This is a fact that we are proud of.
This is a fact that considers the wellbeing of the babies we help create, of the painful journey many of our couples have endured to have a baby and finally is respectful of our surrogate mothers.
We have all heard of cases where a married couple met in high school and were each an instant match. But for most people, we have all dated several people before we finally find the right match for us. It is possible that the first surrogate mother that is available is a perfect match for the next couple that retains that agency’s service. But these cases are very rare. CSP has developed a process for matching that is the least risky for our couples.
Couples that come to CSP have often had a long infertility journey filled with hardships, heartache and failures. CSP takes this history into consideration. It would be dreadful to match a couple with a surrogate mother that only just applied to our program because (a) the couple and surrogate mother will meet and bond only to find out the surrogate mother or her husband do not pass the social disease testing, (b) the surrogate mother did not fully understand she needs to take injections for at least two months and go to multiple medical appointments and cannot get that time off work, (c) her insurance policy has an exclusion and the new policy she can apply for only allows maternity coverage after it has been in place for 6 (or 12) months. A couple who has endured years of infertility deserves better. With CSP we ensure our surrogate mothers are prescreened and have insurance in place before they are ready for matching.