Becoming A Surrogate For A Gay Couple

Researchers estimate that the number of children nationwide living with at least one gay parent ranges from six to 14 million. The optimal development of a child depends on the relationship between the child and the parent, and the relationship between the parents with each other. The American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement that there are more similarities than differences in the way homosexual and heterosexuals raise their children, and that children are just as well adjusted in families of gay parents. CSP has always known and believed this. We helped our first gay couple become parents in 1989. That is a long time before most surrogacy agencies were in existence! CSP was established because we strongly believe that couples who are ready and willing to take on the responsibility of parenthood deserve that opportunity. The desire to parent is the same for all couples, regardless of sexual orientation.

Working with a gay couple is different and a very personal decision. We have compiled a series of letters and Myths & Facts to assist you in this decision. Every couple is special and all couples have the same dream: to become parents.

Surrogate Mom's Personal Stories

:: Kira's Story ::

:: Andrea's Story ::

:: Jennifer's Story ::

:: Sarah's Story ::

A Couple's Story

:: Brian and Craig ::

All the research to date has reached the same unequivocal conclusion about gay parenting: the children of gay parents grow up successfully as the children of heterosexual parents. In fact, not a single study has found the children of gay parents to be disadvantaged because of their parent's sexual orientation. Other key findings include:

* There is no evidence to suggest that gay parents are unfit to be parents

* Home environments with gay parents are as likely to successfully support a child's development as those with heterosexual parents.

* Good parenting is not influenced by sexual orientation. Rather it is influenced most profoundly by a parent's ability to create a loving and nurturing home.

* There is no evidence to suggest that the children of gay parents are less intelligent, suffer from more problems, are less popular, or have lower self-esteem than children of heterosexual parents.

* The children of gay parents have grown up to be happy, healthy and well adjusted as the children of heterosexual parents.

Myth: The only acceptable home for a child is one with a mother and a father who are married to each other.
Today, children are more likely to grow up in single family or gay homes than they are from the stereotypical mom and dad who are on their first marriage family home. Children without the above make up a large part of our society and typically cope well. The mark of a strong family is having parents who are nurturing, caring and loving - characteristics that are completely unrelated to a parent's sexual orientation.

Myth: Children need a mother and a father to have proper male and female models.
Children get their role models from many places besides their parents. These include grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, friends, and neighbors. There are unfortunately many children who come from families where one parent is absent or one parent passes away and yet these children have grown up to be productive members of our society.

Myth: Gay parents don't have stable relationships and don't know how to be good parents.
The majority of gay parents are in stable committed relationships. One of the requirements that CSP has of all our couples is that they are in long term relationships. CSP screens all couples before they are invited to retain our services. Not every couple that meets with CSP staff members is invited to retain CSP.

The American Psychological Association, in a recent report reviewing the research, observed that "not a single study has found children of gay parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents" and concluded that "home environments provided by gay parents are as likely as those provided by heterosexual parents to support and enable children's psychosocial growth"

Myth: Children raised by gay parents are more likely to grow up gay themselves.
All the available evidence demonstrates that the sexual orientation of parents has no impact on the sexual orientation of their children and that children of gay parents are no more likely than any other children to grow up to be gay. This is a fact supported by every psychological and sociological study to have examined this issue. Some children may grow up to be gay, as will some children of heterosexual children. These children will have the added advantage of being raised by parents who are supportive and accepting in a world that can sometimes be hostile. If you know a gay person or gay couple, are their parents gay?

Myth: Children who are raised by gay parents will be subjected to harassment and will be rejected by their peers.
Children make fun of other children for all kinds of reasons: for being too short or too tall, for being too thin or too fat, for being of a different race or religion or speaking a different language. Children show remarkable resiliency, especially if they are provided with a stable and loving home environment. Times have changed and America is now a more mixed society. For a while having gay parents may be non-typical, but as our children grow up, being gay will become more acceptable to our diverse society.