Generous and compassionate are two adjectives commonly used to describe surrogate mothers. Surrogates are women who want to help other individuals create their family, something they easily are able to do. But thus far, there only has been one woman (that we know about) who can say she was born to be a surrogate mother.
Kimberly Dawn Haugh, a native Californian who is a wife and mother of three, is one of the only or perhaps the only known surrogate baby who then became a surrogate mother herself. 29 years ago, when surrogacy was in its infancy in the United States, Kimberly was born via a surrogate, a few years after the same woman carried her older sister.
Her parents needed the assistance of a surrogate because Kimberly’s mother had been born without a uterus. Three decades ago, however, surrogacy was in its infancy and a lot riskier; the surrogate mother actually had a year to change her mind about keeping the baby. But luckily for Kimberly and her parents, their surrogate did not. At that time, it also was not uncommon for surrogacy arrangements to occur very informally without the benefit and protection of an attorney and/or surrogacy agency. Kimberly’s parents paid all the surrogate’s expenses and hoped for the best.
Learning About Surrogacy
Surrogacy has always been part of Kimberly’s life. From a young age, Kimberly’s parents told her about her, then, unusual birth story.
Explains Kimberly: “I cannot imagine my life to be any different. I don’t remember ever not knowing about how I was born. My earliest memory of this was when I was about three and my mother sat me down on her lap to explain how I came into this world. I thought it was really cool then and I still do now.”
Kimberly always felt it was her duty, after she had her own kids, to become a surrogate, even offering to be one for her sister or her two cousins, if necessary. She had her heart set on wanting to give another family the amazing gift of a child they could not have any other way.
Expressing a sentiment that many would-be surrogates feel, Kimberly said: “Since I knew I was not going to have any more of my own children, why not help someone else out? Giving birth is the easy part. Surrogacy is a win-win for me because I get to experience pregnancy while helping another family have a child.”
Kimberly’s first match was with a male same sex couple from Norway for whom she delivered a beautiful baby girl. Having been together for 15 years, the men had long dreamed of the day they would become fathers.
When she was given their profile, Kimberly felt an immediate chemistry with both would-be daddies, especially since they all had a lot in common with each other. In particular, they impressed her with how they had envisioned the way they would explain their child’s unique birth to him or her. Because of her own experience, this really resonated with Kimberly.
“I asked a bunch of ladies in my support group how I would know when I had met my “match.” They told me to trust my intuition, which would lead me to the perfect couple and they were absolutely right,” remembers Kimberly.
The fathers and Kimberly were in constant communications during her pregnancy and developed a close relationship. At 38 weeks, she delivered their baby girl, coincidentally on the same day that the Norwegian princess made international news when she helped gay friends get their baby out of India and back to Norway.
Family on Board with the Baby
The two families have stayed in touch since the men returned to Norway. Kimberly’s entire family has been very supportive of her dream, especially her husband and parents, who were over the moon with her decision to become a surrogate. Her middle child also grew close to the new fathers while they were in California, understanding that the child Kimberly was carrying was theirs.
Kimberly is now on her second journey with an English couple that has been trying to have a baby for 25 years and has experienced many miscarriages, even with treatment and surrogacy. They are hoping that with Kim’s great track record at getting pregnant that their frozen embryos will result in a much-wanted child.
Said Kimberly: “Again, through the matching process I intuitively felt that I should be the one to help this couple. It will mean the world to me if I can.”
Kimberly Haugh, a child of surrogacy, is now fulfilling her dream of helping others create their own surrogate babies, just as her surrogate mother did 29 years ago. She is paying it forward in the circle of life.