Center for Surrogate Parenting, LLC.

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Building a Great Surrogate-Parent Relationship

How to Build a Great Surrogate-Parent Relationship

Building a strong relationship with your surrogate mother is important. She has taken on an important role in your family, and you want to create a great relationship. Here are 7 tips for creating a great relationship:

  1. Attend the transfer appointment and ultrasound appointments, which are great bonding experiences. If you can’t be there in person, Skype or FaceTime during the appointment.
  2. Stay connected through texts, phone calls, and emails. If you’re thinking about your surrogate, let her know in a quick text.
  3. Get to know your surrogate outside of pregnancy. You can connect in other ways. Ask her about her children and other things that she’s up to instead of just asking about updates on how she’s feeling.
  4. Tell her about your preparations and plans. For example, you can send pictures of the nursery. Let her know how excited you are for the baby.
  5. Don’t micromanage. You don’t need to control her diet and activities. You don’t need to sweat the small stuff.
  6. For the 72 hours after implanting the embryo, your surrogate should be resting and needs to stay off her feet. You can help by providing meals for her and her family.
  7. If she’s on bed rest, you can provide activities for kids and a care package for her with things like slippers, books, blankets, or activity books.

As the intended parents, it’s important to bond with your surrogate who is a partner with you to bring your baby into this world. These tips will help you strengthen this relationship.