Different parenting styles – No two are alike
No two parents are exactly alike. There are many different parenting styles out there because different styles are unique to each individual parent and child. True, there are generalized categories out there like “authoritative” or “neglectful,” but most parents are just trying to do their best to love their kids and help them become the best people they can be.
It’s impossible to categorize every type of parent, but here’s a look at some common parenting styles and how they can influence results with kids.
SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) or SAHD (Stay at Home Dad) parenting involves at least one parent who typically spends all their time at home with the kids, seeing to every need. This is the most valuable parenting style for kids because the parent is hands-on all day, helping kids learn everything from choosing healthy foods to taking time to exercise, doing chores, studying schoolwork, managing time, and living by house rules. Stay-at-home parenting builds a strong bond of trust and love between parent and child.
This parenting style involves a full-time working parent who can only spend time with their kids when the parent is not at work. Far from being a disadvantage, this common style of parenting has its benefits. What is the best way that kids learn the value of hard work? Through watching the example of their parents. Day-job parents have the best opportunities to teach their kids how to work hard, manage their time, and focus on goals. This parenting style requires a lot of effort because you have to learn to juggle work, kids’ school and activities, and quality time at home. But when you do your best to show your kids lots of love while helping them understand why you have to work, they will be stronger for it and appreciate you all the more.
Disciplinarian parenting can apply to nearly every parent; it just depends on what type of disciplining you prefer—or can handle—doing. Because, let’s face it, disciplining is an important job. Parents employ all sorts of tactics from time-outs, spanking, and one-on-one evaluations to punishments and rewards. There are many good tips and suggestions from experts. You have to do what you’re comfortable doing and what works for your child. As long as you discipline with love, compassion, and understanding, your child will learn how to associate consequences with their actions. Just be sure that when you discipline, it’s in a moment where you’re both calm and ready to talk about what happened, why the disciplinary action needed to occur, and what you both can do differently next time.
Some people have great, creative ideas for parenting. Most parents learn to get creative when their kids go through toddlerhood—“Here, play with this ball since Lucy is playing with the one you want”—but some parents live creatively year after year. They come up with ways to get kids to do chores, like making responsibility charts. Some parents find activities to help kids learn through crafts, art, dance, and music. This is a wonderful parenting style that helps your child learn to see the world in unique ways and develop their creativity so they can find their favorite forms of creative expression.
It’s important to schedule activities in your child’s day. Routines are a healthy thing for children, starting when they are babies. Most experts and pediatricians agree that it sets the foundation for kids to become productive individuals. In structured parenting, you still need flexibility. Don’t be afraid of changing plans or missing naptime for a more important activity every now and then. But don’t feel bad about passing up a play date for the productive routine you have set up for your child.
While it’s a good idea to have structure in your child’s day, you don’t need to feel guilty if that structure doesn’t include anything more than set times for meals and bed. Lots of flexibility that includes play and discovery time during the day has yielded some of the world’s most creative, freethinking, innovative, and groundbreaking contributors to society. If your child is curious about the outside world, take lots of walks, go the library, read, or take things apart. It’s all beneficial.
Recently, the age at which adults become parents is older than it was 10 or 20 or 50 years ago. That’s not a bad thing. When you have more experience, you have more wisdom to pass on to your kids. Even if you’re tired waking up in the night, don’t worry; young parents feel exhausted, too! You’ve also had more time to develop things like patience and perspective. You’ll have lots of knowledge to draw on as your child goes through every stage of life.
Chummy parenting is when one parent tends to be as much of a friend to their child as a parent. This doesn’t just happen with young parents who can remember how it felt to be a kid. Any parent who is a child at heart or who loves to laugh and play and do the things their kids do will have a great time becoming a trusted confidant and friend to their child. This type of relationship extends well beyond the time that your child becomes an adult.
Whether you feel like you fit into just one or several parenting styles, give yourself a fist bump for trying your best and loving your child just as fiercely as you can. That’s what they need most. Contact us to learn more about different parenting styles and growing a family through surrogacy.