CSP Second-Time Surrogate Tips
Second-time CSP surrogate mother Ashley just entered the third trimester of her current surrogate pregnancy. She was kind enough to share some of her experiences and advice with us in a recent interview.
Do you have any tips you can offer to anyone who might want to be a surrogate?
Be patient. Surrogacy is about the destination for the intended parents, and the journey for the surrogate. Know that in all things, there is a greater plan.
Lean on your Surro Sisters. Not only are they a wealth of knowledge, but you will always know that you are never alone. My husband was extremely supportive of this decision and sometimes even he didn’t understand what I was going through. Your Sisters always do.
Find your Surro Tribe and love them hard. Not everyone is going to understand your journey and that is ok- they don’t have to. Have a strong support system that understands your commitment and love for your journey. My husband was my rock through every transfer, every appointment, every injection, every milestone and at our first birth. I know he won’t disappoint on the second either!
IVF transfers don’t come with a guarantee. Sometimes they fail; it is not your fault. I went into my first transfer thinking that it was a guaranteed pregnancy. It is science after all! How could it fail? I was very wrong and I was devastated. Five transfers later, I have a better grasp on reality. I would encourage all future surrogate mothers to understand the risk, keep a positive frame of mind, and not give up hope.
What is your favorite thing about being a surrogate so far?
I love the bond that I have formed with the baby’s parents above all else. My first couple waited for years to have a baby in their arms and went through so much. Being able to be a part of such a special moment, to witness it, is unlike anything else I will ever experience. My husband is a very stoic “seen it all” kind of guy and he had tears in his eyes when the baby was born. He ranked the experience right up there with having our own two children.
What’s your favorite part of being a surrogate with CSP?
I have had a great experience with CSP. I love the comradery that I have found within the group meetings and Facebook page that is for CSP surrogates only. You won’t find that with other agencies. I love having a counselor that I can rely on to be there for me and assist me with all situations that arise. We receive our financial compensation and reimbursements quickly, which makes prenatal care seamless. CSP is there to take care of all of our needs, allowing the surrogate to sit back, relax and enjoy the miracle that is happening within them.
What is your relationship like with your IPs?
We formed an incredibly strong bond with our first set of Intended Parents. They even asked us to be his Godparents! We just booked our tickets to visit them in March of 2018, and are incredibly excited to see them again. We have a bond with them unlike any other, and will forever consider them a part of our family.
Our second sets of Intended Parents have been absolutely amazing We knew from the beginning that communication and openness was incredibly important to both parties. I feel so comfortable with my couple, from chatting about the baby and the day-to-day routine, to the stuff that isn’t always so much fun. They go out of their way to make sure that my family and I have everything that we need. Their generosity and thoughtful nature has made it so I don’t have to worry about things, and can just sit back and enjoy pregnancy. They have invited us to their home country on what will be the baby’s first birthday and we are absolutely ecstatic that we will continue to be a part of their lives.
CSP NOTE: Thank you so much to Ashley for sharing her story and insights! We are truly lucky to have such thoughtful, caring women in our program.