Center for Surrogate Parenting, LLC.


Responding to Those Against Surrogacy

Responding to Those Against Surrogacy
You may still come across the occasional person who is still against surrogacy. This only tends to happen when people are uninformed or have no experiences with surrogacy through someone close to them. The best way to respond to these sometimes heated debates is by maintaining your calm and trying to cool the situation down. The following tips can usually help turn a confrontation into an understanding discussion.

Don’t Take Comments Personally

Sometimes, people who are strongly opposed to new ideas (like surrogacy) might say hurtful things, such as saying, “You don’t know what you’re doing!” or “Maybe you weren’t meant to have kids!” It’s extremely unfortunate and completely unacceptable; however, remember that these remarks are not true. If you find yourself in a situation where the uninformed person says something offensive, take a breath and remember that the statement is not true. At the same time, it is important to stand up for yourself and your informed decision and to help spread the knowledge that you have. Respond as calmly as you can, saying something like, “I am very sorry you feel that way. I would be happy to share what I have learned about surrogacy because it is a wonderful option for many people like me.”

Be Prepared with Knowledge

When you face a person who is simply not informed, it is important for you to be the one who is informed. Sometimes by providing knowledge and simply facts, you can diffuse an emotionally charged situation. For example, a common misconception is that the baby will not have your genes, but this is not true. A baby carried by a surrogate mother can have the genes of his or her intended parents and be biologically related to his or her future family.

CSP is happy to provide you with a wealth of knowledge about surrogacy as a viable solution for many hopeful parents. We recommend learning the facts about how surrogacy works, the success rates, and knowledge and expertise of those who run surrogacy agencies. Facts and statistics are not only reassuring to hopeful parents and surrogate mothers, but also to their families and friends who may not know much about the subject.

Recognize the Love

We know it is difficult, but sometimes it is helpful to simply remember that your friends and family may simply be concerned about your well-being. When you follow the previous tips of keeping your calm and providing information, those will often be enough to put the other person’s oppositional fears to rest. Surrogacy, infertility, parenting, and raising children are all subjects that are very dear, tender, and important. The most common reason why people have concerns is simply because they care.