Center for Surrogate Parenting, Inc.

Blog

Surrogacy Baby – The Real Priority

Putting the surrogacy baby first

Surrogacy and IVF are both long and complicated processes. The experience can be a high-stress but rewarding time both for the parents and the surrogate mom. Throughout the process, it’s important to remember that surrogacy is aimed at bringing a new life into the world. The parents, surrogate, and surrogacy agency all work together to give the surrogacy baby the best chance of physical, emotional and mental health.

The surrogacy baby is everyone’s focus

It can be easy to become distracted by the stresses of daily life and forget that everything you’re doing is for a new infant. Parents can get caught up in the worries of starting their family, while surrogates can become overwhelmed with the burdens of pregnancy. In these times, it can help to remember that all of you ultimately want to bring a happy, healthy baby into the world. You are automatically on the same side!

All you need to do is help each other through the process. Think of it as a team of three. Or, think of it as a team of four, because CSP’s experts are here to help you with questions. Most importantly, parents and surrogates should be in communication with each other to relieve fears and enjoy the process together.

Intended parents: How to support the surrogate mother

There are many things the parents can do to support and help the surrogate during this pregnancy. As a bonus, helping the surrogate benefits your surrogacy baby. At CSP, we have found that parents want the best for their baby and to be part of the pregnancy since they are unable to experience the pregnancy on their own.

  • Matching: During the matching process, connect with your surrogate on a personal basis. Ask questions and understand how much communication you all want and expect during pregnancy.
  • IVF: During the IVF process, remain in contact. CSP recommends that all parties be present for the important procedure.
  • Pregnancy: During the pregnancy, the parents should stay in contact with the surrogate. Don’t worry about pestering her too much. She is pregnant with your baby and understands your desires to be a part of the experience. Pregnant mothers feel more cared about when someone is asking them how they are feeling and how the baby is doing. CSP also recommends that parents attend prenatal doctor visits with the surrogate.
  • Post-natal: We also recommend that parents attend the baby’s birth so that they can immediately bond with the baby. It’s important to show your support to the surrogate during this time. Be considerate, supportive and establish long-term means of communication with the surrogate.

Surrogate mothers: How to involve the parents

It is easier for surrogate to stay in contact with the parents during the matching and IVF process, but it can get trickier once you are pregnant and back home. Making the commitment to help parents build a family is a unique challenge for you. We know you want to involve the parents and help them bond with the surrogacy baby even before birth. Here are some things you can do.

  • Contact: Text the parents weekly, even about things you find commonplace. Were you sick? Did you start feeling better? Did you feel the baby move? Every little bit of progress can be a thrill for the parents. If you receive any pregnancy updates, share them with the parents.
  • Doctor Visits: Remind the parents and welcome them to join you at prenatal visits, especially ultrasounds.
  • Diet: Follow-up with the parents about your diet, especially if you have agreed upon an organic routine or other special dietary needs to help the baby.
  • Activity: Let the parents know when you are taking it easy or when you are doing prenatal exercises, which you will have previously agreed on with them. Reassure them that the baby is getting rest or that the baby is enjoying feeling your body move.
  • Labor and delivery: Keep the parents updated as the due date nears. Inform them as soon as possible when you go into labor. As with any pregnancy, the health of the surrogate directly affects the health of the baby.

CSP has helped create new families for more than 37 years. Whether you’re a gay couple wondering how you’ll become parents, a single person dreaming of a child, or a couple struggling to conceive, CSP will help you find the path to making your dreams come true.