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Conception Issues - Is It Me or My Partner?

Friday, June 30, 2017
Nice Couple with Fertility Issues
Getting Past Fertility Issues and Moving Forward
There is no shortage of information about infertility and conception issues available online and from family members, friends, and co-workers. Common sense tells us that not all of that well-intentioned information is correct. In fact, most of the incorrect information is based upon misinterpretations of fertility studies and the inaccurate retelling of old wives' tales, which may have held some truth in their original form. But after being passed around from one person to the next, the information and the message got muddled.

Concerned Couple with Fertility Issues


Dealing With Conception Issues

For a couple dealing with infertility, conceiving a child can become a series of complex medical procedures and testing, mixed with long periods of waiting. It is exhausting, often frustrating, and costly. And if that isn't enough to deal with, there are those well-meaning friends, family members, and co-workers asking questions and trying to find out whose “fault” the problem is—you or your partner. People may offer advice such as, “If it was meant to be, it will be,” or “Just relax and let nature take its course,” or “These issues will cure themselves.” Even though that advice may come from a place of love and concern, it's not usually helpful and can even be hurtful.

Identifying The Reason (or Reasons)

There is a myriad of reasons that can be identified that prevent conception. Couples may choose to put off having children until later in life, and there is nothing wrong with that. Increased age is a known factor for infertility, but it's just as important for a couple to determine when the time is right to welcome a baby into their lives. There could be physical reasons or illness causing problems in either the woman or the man, or both, or there may be a history of multiple pregnancy loss, which can be devastating.

Once a couple realizes there may be a problem, the first question is usually to determine the source of the infertility or conception issue, and that usually begins with the question, “Is it me or my partner?” Get past it. Debating the fact that the male partner chose to wear briefs rather than boxers or the woman's job caused too much stress and interfered with conception isn't productive.

Couple with Fertility Issues

Know Your Facts

We hear it over and over, but knowledge truly is power and allows you to have a better understanding of conception issues and figure out what steps to take to remedy them. Coffee doesn't cause conception issues, and there are no sexual positions that create a higher probability of pregnancy. Women have had to deal with references to their biological clocks ticking away for decades, but the truth of the matter is, men have one, too. And, contrary to internet clickbait articles, there is no “superfood” that ensures conception and pregnancy. Learning to separate fact from fiction when it comes to conception and fertility issues is important, and debunking information that has no scientific basis or is flat out wrong is even more important.

Fertility issues for couples are almost always traced back to the woman.
Wrong. Infertility problems are experienced equally by men and women. Around 35 percent of fertility issues can be attributed to the man, and 35 percent to the woman. About 20 percent of fertility issues are due to issues with both the man and the woman, and 10 percent are unknown causes.

Infertility is a psychological issue, not a physical one.
Wrong. Although recent studies have linked stress with conception issues in women, there are physical causes for infertility. For men, the most common issue is abnormal sperm production, and for women, ovulation issues, cervical abnormalities, or fallopian tube damage are just a few of the possible causes.

Couples who work at it will eventually get pregnant.
Wrong. There are physical causes for infertility. For women who are under 35, infertility specialists usually recommend further testing if pregnancy does not occur after one year of unprotected sex. Women over the age of 35 who have unprotected sex for 6 months and do not get pregnant should see a medical professional. To determine whether it is an issue with the man or the woman and determine treatment, the doctor will analyze the couple's sexual history, perform a semen analysis, and conduct tubal and ovarian testing.

The only realistic option when a couple cannot conceive a child is to adopt.
Wrong. If fertility treatments fail, or if a woman has been unable to carry a pregnancy to term, surrogacy is a viable option. Sharing a genetic link with your child is possible.

Couple Talking About Fertility

Considering Surrogacy

The Center for Surrogate Parenting offers two programs to help intended parents achieve their dreams to have a child. Both options include matching you with a surrogate mother of your choosing, a person who has been medically and psychologically screened, and who meets our strict legal and ethical requirements and specifications. Our In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)/Gestational Surrogacy program combines the intended parents' ova and sperm, which is then implanted into the womb of the chosen surrogate. With the second option, IVF and Egg Donation Program, sperm from the biological father is used to fertilize ovum provided by a donor, then implanted into the surrogate mother's womb.

A Realistic, Ethical Option

For those couples or individuals who have been immersed in fertility testing, treatments, and endless doctor's appointments, surrogacy may sound just as clinical due to the medical and psychological screenings and legal requirements. However, the women who choose to offer their wombs as a surrogate to a couple who would otherwise be unable to conceive a child on their own consider it a gift from their heart, not due to monetary gain.

If you have questions, explore them with a reputable surrogacy agency that has a history of ethical and successful surrogacies. CSP's philosophy is to support the dreams of those who wish to become parents, and we provide a wide array of professionals to ensure that every aspect of your child's conception, gestation, and birth is an amazing and memorable experience.
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