Center for Surrogate Parenting, Inc.

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Kendra’s Surrogacy Story: The Middle

Well we have made it through all the medical testing and contracts were signed, which means only one thing, now we can get pregnant! We started the medication about a month before we had the transfer. Needles are definitely a phobia of mine but I knew I would have to do it and it would only be for a short time. Heck, I’ve done it before, I can do it again! Every appointment we had leading up to the transfer was good news. My body was preparing nicely and was definitely ready to grow a baby.

We flew out to our clinic a few days before the transfer and had our last ultrasound and bloodwork done the day before transfer. Again, everything came back perfect! Our Intended Parents (IP’s) were so anxious and everyone was very nervous. The day finally came and my nerves could not have been more nervous! Nervous because I wanted it to work out, hoping this one time will take, and wanting to make sure our IP’s got to be there with us, after all, this is just as much their journey as it is ours. The doctor and nurses could not have been more patient or more kind, they were so supportive and made everyone feel very comfortable. After the transfer we had to rest for a little while and then it was back to our hotel for more rest and rest and rest until it was time to fly home.

We knew our blood test, to either confirm or deny a pregnancy, would be about 10 days after the transfer. Really 10 days?! The wait is so hard! Everyone hoping for the best, anxious, excited, and definitely still nervous! They say you can take a pregnancy test anytime in between but just don’t get your hopes either up or down because bloodwork is way more accurate. Our couple did not want to do a test right away. They said to maybe wait at least a week so, we waited. As much as I wanted to take a test, I didn’t. Then exactly 7 days later I woke up in the morning and took that test. As soon as I saw the double line, I was giddy with excitement! I had to tell our IP’s right away, there just was no denying how fast the double lines came up! Oh, their excitement was so fun to see! Being able to see the joy on their faces is the best feeling and makes you feel even more confident in this whole thing.

We did bloodwork and ultrasounds and our IP’s were able to see every ultrasound via video. There were tears of joy and the best laughter from so much excitement. Baby Duck (which is what my daughter named baby) was growing and their heartbeat was strong. When you are closer to 12 weeks you are able to stop the medication, which I was super happy about, and we made an appointment with my regular OB. At this time and it all began to feel more real, especially because I was so very sick during the 1st trimester and even into my 2nd. It was very hard. I couldn’t keep anything down. I had to visit the ER a couple times for dehydration but managed to take some vitamins to help. It’s sometimes hard to remember why you are doing this as you are puking your guts out but, when you get such supportive messages and calls from your couple, it all comes rushing back. They have been amazing, more supportive than I ever imagined.

My husband was always by my side and letting me rest more while he handled our own kids. My daughter constantly wanted to snuggle me and make me feel better while my son brought me blankets and his dinosaurs to help as well. I feel so blessed to have the best support team. Even having the support from other surrogates and them sharing advice from their own experiences has been so helpful,

I try to respect my couple’s feelings a lot. I want them to always feel like this is their pregnancy. Have them be involved as much as they would like and for them to know Baby Duck is being very well taken care of and loved by all of us. We still communicate a lot and can share any concerns or feelings that we may have, although I feel very fortunate to not have had many concerns at all. We have maintained an honest and open relationship so far and my husband and I couldn’t feel more blessed about it. Baby duck is growing and we try to send pictures and video as much as we can.

Finally, we made it to THE ultrasound! Is Baby Duck a boy or a girl? We were all so anxious! We had lots of guesses and had fun doing all the old wives tales’ tricks to try and work it out. Seeing babies’ profile and heartbeat is always a wonderful feeling, and it is great to know they are healthy, but I really wanted to know what I was carrying. I did tell our IP’s that if they didn’t want to know, it was ok, but I was desperate to know and really wanted to find out! Luckily, they wanted to know just as much as we did! And know we know that Baby Duck is Baby GIRL Duck!!! Oh, my goodness, so much excitement and happiness! We all went to celebrate the good news of a healthy little growing baby girl!

She is continuing to grow and has become so very active. We are finally in our 3rd trimester which means my pregnancy journey is about to be over, but the start of a whole other story is about to begin. We always knew I would be having a c-section and we have the date set. Our IP’s have booked a place to stay nearby and it’s getting a lot more exciting around here!

Besides being sick a lot during the first few months, it has been a pretty relaxed pregnancy. We have discussed a birth plan with our IP’s which is a bit different that preparing for delivering your own children. This time it’s not just about when/if you go into labor but during the birth and after the birth which are all important things to talk about and things I hadn’t really considered until we started getting closer to delivery. You need to know details such as, who gets to be in the room with you for delivery? That’s a big one because I want my husband there with me, he is my number 1 supporter after all and how can I do this without him? We have spoken with my doctor and we are waiting to see how many people will be allowed in the room with us. The good thing is, if they only allow 1 person in the room with me, I am comfortable with that being my Intended Mom. She gives my husband a run for his money when it comes to being my number 1 supporter, and I couldn’t bear not having her there so she gets to feel as much a part of this delivery.

When I first started researching about being a surrogate, my number one concern was, how do you prepare yourself for delivery? One of the first things I read was a recommendation to have the baby handed directly to the IP’s. I know Baby Duck is not my baby, I am not preparing to bring a new baby in to my family. While I cannot wait to snuggle this special little girl I also I cannot wait to see her grow up and, most of all, to see my IP’s become new parents. I told my doctor and my IP’s that baby will come directly to them after she makes her grand entrance. My Intended Parents are so understanding about what I would like and how I hope everything goes. They said I can hold her right away, but I have decided to wait until I get into my recovery room. Of course, as we all know delivery doesn’t always happen the way we hope or expect. You just have to be open to whatever happens and know you are giving the BEST gift to the best new parents!

I also have expressed my feelings about having my own kids come and meet her because they are just as much a part of this as we are. Both my kids love to feel Baby Duck move around; we talk all the time about who she will be living with but that they get to have a brand-new friend in their life. They are very excited! Lucky for us, our IP’s want our kids to meet her as much as we do. I am looking forward to the time off afterwards and spending it with my family, I work full time so getting to spend some quality time with my kids will be very special.

Right now, we are working on parental rights paperwork, getting everything signed and ready for Baby Duck’s birth. This is important as we want the hospital to recognize that I am giving birth but the IP’s are her parents. Every day we get closer and closer to her arrival. I am enjoying being pregnant and nurturing Baby Girl Duck.

Again, how can I even describe how lucky we feel with being matched with an amazing family! Seriously, there are no words to describe it! Thank you CSP!