"I would describe surrogacy as an amazing journey, unfortunately it was a journey that I wasn't initially prepared for. In the spring of 2016, my wife, Tabitha (who was my girlfriend at the time), approached me with what seemed to be a radically insane idea: she wanted to be a surrogate. I had no experience with surrogacy, in fact, I thought it was something that women only did in those Lifetime movies, or for their family members. I had no idea what to expect, or what awaited us both along our surrogacy journey. Initially, I was hesitant about the process, I wasn't crazy about the idea of having my wife carry a child for someone else. As a man, I wanted my wife-to-be to carry my own child someday. I would have to admit that my reservations were rooted in selfish ambition. I immediately shared my objections with Tabitha. I mean, wouldn't this be a huge inconvenience for us (and by 'us' I really meant me)? What would people think? What about our wedding plans/future? What about carrying and delivering a baby that we aren't keeping? Won't that be extremely difficult and emotionally damaging to Tabitha? I had a million and one reasons to say no, but I only needed one reason to say yes. After a lot of discussion (and even more prayer), we decided to move forward with our surrogacy journey. Tabitha was matched with a couple, and she had her first transfer in December of 2016. Unfortunately, we found out quickly how painful and difficult this process can be. Although the initial transfer seemed to be a success, Tabitha miscarried in January of 2017. She was devastated. She would eventually have a second transfer completed in August of 2017 and her third and final transfer in February 2018. Tabitha was able to successfully carry and deliver a baby girl for her surrogate family in November 2018. What an experience it was; to have the ability to bless another family in such a special way is truly amazing!To all the men that are struggling along the surrogacy journey with your spouse/girlfriend, I would like to share some words of wisdom and encouragement as I learned a great deal during this process.
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