Surrogacy is an exciting life event, but it is often a new experience for surrogates and their support systems. At the Center for Surrogate Parenting (CSP), we believe it is important to support surrogates. Family members are a part of the surrogacy from the very beginning. Partners, family, and friends can help the surrogate not only with day-to-day household tasks but emotionally as well. Support is key to a successful surrogacy. 

How CSP supports surrogates 

  • We have a rigorous screening process in place to ensure the physical and mental health of each surrogate is top priority at all times.  
  • While all agencies require a mental health screening at the beginning of the journey, CSP goes the extra mile by providing mental health services throughout the process – including 2 months postpartum.  
  • CSP offers other benefits throughout the pregnancy, including maternity clothes and nutrition help, among many others.  

How partners can support surrogates

Surrogacy adds a great deal of change to a couple’s life, and it can be challenging. When the surrogate’s partner is equally committed to the success of the surrogacy, the couple enjoys a much more rewarding experience. Understand that there will likely be intimacy changes, shifts in responsibilities, possible financial modifications, and changes in the types of activities you normally share. Here are ways to support surrogates as a partner. 

  • Share significant dates and upcoming appointments. When a surrogate’s partner feels involved and is included in decisions, it strengthens the relationship and allows for a more enjoyable experience. 
  • Set aside couple time. It’s important to find private time to focus on each other whether it’s a quiet, relaxing evening at home, a special meal, or a weekly catch-up conversation on aspects of your lives that aren’t about the surrogacy process. 
  • Friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even extended family members will likely have questions about her decision to become a surrogate . The couple should discuss how they want to deal with intrusive or highly personal questions. The surrogate’s partner can be helpful in uncomfortable situations by deflecting questions that are an invasion of the surrogate’ s privacy. 
  • Show support during moments when she may be taxed physically or emotionally. Remind her of the positive reasons she chose to become a surrogate. 

How friends and family can show support for surrogates 

At CSP, we recommend that surrogates create a circle of support from their friends and family members. Surrogates may need extra support as they are dedicating extra time to appointments and balancing pregnancy with their everyday lives. Some simple but impactful ways friends and family can help show support include:  

  • Showing interest and support throughout the surrogacy process. Friends and family members can encourage the surrogate by reminding them of the incredible reasons they are helping someone else grow their family.  
  • Offering help with childcare, meals, or household responsibilities. This can very well be the same kind of support friends and family offered throughout the surrogate’s previous pregnancies.  
  • Plan a fun, relaxing outing not related to the pregnancy. It’s always nice to find time to relax as friends and finding time to unwind goes a long way.  

How intended parents can show support 

Every surrogacy is unique, and every surrogate has different needs and expectations. CSP works diligently to support the relationships between the intended parents and the surrogate. In many cases, we’ve found that the more involved the intended parents are, the more enjoyable the experience is. It establishes a bond of trust that is crucial to the process and its success. Showing support for the surrogate is an excellent way to be involved, and it benefits both the surrogate and the intended parents. 

  • Intended parents can keep an open dialogue with the surrogate to show their support and recognition of what she has agreed to do for them. Phone calls or encouragement and supportive cards are a great way to keep the lines of communication open. 
  • Intended parents can support a surrogate by lending an ear when she has concerns or wants to share about the baby she is carrying. 
  • Even though the intended parents have the right to information that concerns the welfare of the unborn child, recognize that there is personal information about her family or herself that she does not have to share. Respect the surrogate’s privacy and understand the boundaries of the surrogate/intended parent relationship. 
  • Carrying a baby for nine months for someone is truly a selfless act. As intended parents, recognize that and treat her out every once in a while. Pamper her with ways to relieve any stress or fatigue associated with childbearing. Treat her out to a dinner. Pay for a day at the spa. Take her to get a manicure or pedicure. Offer to bring her food when she’s having cravings. 

Supporting the surrogate  

The decision to become a surrogate is a selfless and generous one. They will carry a child for nine months, and then place the newborn in the arms of the intended parents. The road through the surrogacy process is a busy one, filled with changes to daily routines. At CSP, we are dedicated to supporting our surrogates throughout their journey. 

When you’re ready to become a surrogate, CSP will be here to walk you through every step of the process. Apply today!